paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
