You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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