at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
where does the pee come out of this thing
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
