yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize