How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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