I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
