walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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