This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Green mimosas i think yes
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
PS: I just woke up from my shower
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
