There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
