So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
