Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
