you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
