I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I have post one night stand depression
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