I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
