So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
