i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
