what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
