I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
