after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
