You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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