You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
