I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
