If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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