I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
