Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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