I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
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