i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
