I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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