dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
