Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
