he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
