my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
