If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
