sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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