yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
