He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize