I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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