so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
