too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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