I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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