I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
