I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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