This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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