Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
