I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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