So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
