Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
