This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
