I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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