dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
