I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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