hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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