$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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