garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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