these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
