Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So many bounce houses so little time
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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