Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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